Lange had intentionally been brief with Ruess about Rebecca. It wasn't so much he was trying to conceal, as he just didn't know what to say. Or actually, he wouldn't know where to stop. The truth is he'd like to scream RUESS, YOUR WIFE IS DEAD AND GONE, BUT MINE IS DEAD AND STILL HERE. But the only way to scream via email is to type in all caps, something Lange simply refused to do.
It was a late Sunday afternoon when Karen broke the news, whimpered I'm pregnant. Lange sat stunned, but Rebecca suddenly sprung to attention, soldiering around her only daughter with strength and we'll get through this, sweetheart. Seven days later, late in the afternoon, Rebecca sat down in a kitchen chair and said I can't, I quit. That was the beginning of her perverted sabbath. And as for most things, she just quit - bathing, dressing, working, sleeping, cooking, laughing, crying. In all the quitting there was one thing she started, smoking - Natural American Spirits, the blue pack. Rebecca would always smoke outside though, on the back deck, never around Karen. Initially Lange believed that behavior to be a singular ember of care, something that might be stoked, fanned. But as days passed he stopped believing.
What's a man to do in a situation like that, when he finds himself between a young, unwed mother-to-be and an older, wedded woman-that-was? The chorus in his head sang endure. And so Lange did. He became, as they say, tough as nails. The only problem is he also became a nail.
Wow, John, this story is what HeartForge is all about.
ReplyDeleteWe help men in exactly this place... where their INFLUENCE is direly needed, their strength, but their ability to wield their strength, and their capacity to do so, is so underdeveloped that the stay rooted to the spot, fearful to do anything lest it be the wrong thing.
I dealt with the "we're pregnant" deal... not the easiest thing in the world to deal with... need to face loss of dreams and hopes at the same time as dealing with the reality of what is unfolding.
So here's my deal with my kids... I'll give you the best guidance and advice I can... and if you find yourself in the ditch because you ignored my advice, or you find yourself in the ditch because you TOOK my advice, the result will always be the same... I refuse to say "I told you so" even if I did... I promise I will crawl down in the ditch with you, and we'll deal with what has happened and where we find ourselves together... and can almost promise you that I won't pull you out of the ditch.
I'll help, but I won't impede the lessons you'll learn crawling out of the ditch, nor will I take the chance of you missing the credit for getting out of the ditch.
I want you to live best you can on the road, but more than a smooth road, I want you to live with no fear of ditches.
And that is my deal... they know it, and by the time they're grown, we've been in and out of many ditches...
And my wife knows how I'm gonna deal... and it gives her peace that I'm gonna be in the ditch with them... and she knows I'll climb in the ditch with her too... and she too lives with no fear of ditches.
And all of this is possible because Christ crawled in so many ditches with me... I know how to love, because I was first loved.
-vern-