That's Life

My girlfriend had to run an errand to The Dollar Store yesterday. The kids were with her, so as you might guess, they just had to purchase something. Come on, Mom, stuff's a dollar. Hell, we ain't rich, but we do have a few dollars. So all three of our three offspring walked out of that fine establishment with something cheap.

Our youngest chose two plastic dolls: Strawberry Shortcake and Crepes Suzette. No, I'm not kidding; those are their real names. When I got home she was playing with them, she took them with her into the bathtub, and only stopped the play later that evening when a Disney video distracted her. In the few moments of taking her eyes and hands off of those two little smiling food girls, the Beagle decided to go cosmopolitan and try some Crepes Suzette. We heard him chewing over the sound of Disney characters dealing with friendship vs. popularity and when I pulled her free from the canines of our canine, well, let's just say now she is Crepes Su. The cute little beret? Gone, gone. Those dainty little feet in espadrilles? Vanished.

Our youngest cried and screamed I hate that dog! The Beagle's tail was lowered and his eyes spoke these words: I'm so sorry. I was bored because you were watching a goofy Disney video instead of playing with me and I wanted to get your attention. I quickly asked if there were any more Crepes at The Dollar Store and yes, there are gave me enough gumption to promise to pick up another one today to replace her current hatless, feetless doll. I do have to find a dollar though. I did consider suggesting that it was actually a good thing because now Strawberry's commitment to friendship would be tested: Could she still be friends with Crepes Suzette w/out a cool hat and feet or would she turn her back on the now less-than character and prefer Orange Blossom or Angel Cake? The friendship vs. popularity teachable moment was interrupted by the Beagle hacking up a plastic beret.

Life's like that some days. You finally convince your mom to pony up with a George and you come home with two new gloriously cheap toys and spend hours in Strawberryville and turn your back for one minute and BAM! you're wrenched back to the reality of dogs who get bored and like to chew stuff and a Crepes Suzette who can't stand on her own two feet anymore because, well, she ain't got no more feet. But maybe, just maybe there's a good father in place who sees the tears of little girls and knows the nature of Beagles and loves both in equal measure and promises to do what he can to brood over the waters of chaos and whip in The Dollar Store and say Let there be Crepes! and bring form and order to the recently chewed void. Maybe.

Please pray there's another Crepes Suzette on the rack. And that I can find a dollar.


  1. you made me laugh/snort. Thanks!

  2. Bless you John. For being a dad who cares about Crepes Suzette.

  3. BTW, we have amputee/special needs Barbie--she met with our Golden Retriever, and never was the same.

    My son also has Star Wars soldiers casualties/injured warriors due to the incessant forgetfulness regarding proper door closing.