...the chief priests and the scholars searched for how seizing him by deceit they might kill him...Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, went to the chief priests so he might betray him to them. Hearing they were glad and promised to give him silver.
And he looked for how he might conveniently betray him.
- Mark's gospel
"He slept well that night for the first time in months. It was as if his soul had gotten over some prolonged and terrible wisdom toothache."
- Revenge by Jim Harrison
I thought there would have been awkwardness. But there was none. In fact, it was as if they had been expecting me. There's no way they could have, but still, I felt strangely welcomed. I knew they were searching for him, but the relief on their faces was betrayingly quick. There was no small talk needed. The die was cast.
Judas Iscariot. Of the twelve. What have you to do with us?
For a price, I will deliver him into your hands.
That word - "convenient" - and the way he pronounced it are with me to this day. It was as if the syllables slid off his tongue and were quickly gobbled up again. The others nodded in agreement but said not a word.
You will get word to us when it's time?
Yes. You'll know. And the silver?
We keep our promises. Do not worry.
Worry? Foolish priests. They were still not committed to the act of revenge, just the thought of it. My resolve was actually what their hearts had been searching for up to this point. They were cowards. Infinitely moral cowards. They needed someone to go first.
I slept well that night for the first time in months. No tossing, no turning, no dreams, no nothing. Just the unbroken slumber of the damned. I woke fresh the next morning and set about looking for how I might conveniently betray him. The search was arousing. The feeling was akin to having a woman beneath me. I felt alive. Powerful. Purposeful.
The old Sicilian adage says: Revenge is a dish better served cold. I would add that it is best served conveeeniently cold. I took and ate. And slept well.