It's not fair.
That was her lament. She wanted the Beagle to sleep in her bed but he was sleeping in her brother's bed and he always sleeps in her brother's bed but the Beagle is her dog too not just her brother's and why can't the Beagle, every once in a while, sleep with her.
I was walking by their rooms when this injustice rolled down like rivers and she looked at me for advocacy and I said something entirely profound like hey, let's just get back in bed and she let me have it - "it" as in the previously stated lament laced with loud and tears. I started to go to her bedside but decided to leave sleeping dogs and tucked in children alone. Besides, it was already after 9pm and I needed to check my site meter.
She came to me not five minutes later. Dad, I'm sorry I yelled...but it's not fair. I patted my knee, the signal that's it's o.k. to sit and tell me about it, and so she did. And I listened. Tears, hugs, and forgiveness followed, along with a promise, as her father, to be more attentive to fair and balanced Beagle-in-my-room scenarios. She said I love you. I said I love you back. That's fair.
I have no desire for the Beagle to sleep in my bed. I sleep with a lady who smells light years better than the Beagle and her legs are smooth as spider's silk, not hairy like his, so I'm good.
But...sometimes...sometimes I would like to have a wildly popular blog. It's really not fair. You see, other people have thousands of followers and comments galore on every post they type, they're linked to by others throughout this land that is yours and mine, and for the life of me I can't understand what they're doing that I'm not, other than that they have cool headers and post a lot of pictures and they probably twitter. I mean, the internet is everybody's internet, not just theirs, and sometimes, at least once in awhile, I'd like the...shucks, you may have heard me yelling in those sentences. I'm sorry. But it's just not fair.
It amazes me sometimes how full of fickleshit I still am (I just made that word up, but I doubt it'll make this post more popular). It's not fair really. I mean, c'mon, I'm forty-three years old after all and I should be beyond all that...but I'm not. It's probably a good thing that my blog is not wildly popular. I know me and if it was, well, I'd probably spend much more time at the keyboard than snuggled up close to my wife in bed and she'd no doubt get to the point of saying either you stop that danged blogging so much or I'll stop shaving my legs. I really wouldn't like that. And I know me and being "all that" in the blogosphere would probably dull my attentiveness to promises I've made to my children, promises I want to try my best to keep because I love my kids and they love me. Yeah, that's fair.
Beagles will fade and blogs will wither, but...
(Hey, if you want to link to this post from your blog or twitter account, it's fine by me, really, no worries)
Squirming in my seat here. It's so hard not to be sucked into that cycle.
ReplyDeleteAlso just wanted to say how much I enjoy your and Meredith's blogs! Wish I had gotten to know you both better in person when we lived in Arkadelphia.
Don't believe your site meter and your comment counts, I honestly think you render us speechless most days. I fell like your voice, insight, humor is just getting started for the world to see.
ReplyDeleteAnd the not fair beagle story sounds like my house, only it's Whitie the cat. Love how you handled (or not handled) that.
And you are loved...
ReplyDeleteQuality vs Quantity...just saying
ReplyDeleteI always, always read.
ReplyDeleteBut my comments were always, always the same. So I stopped due to my lack of originality, not yours.
Bless you :).
Keep blogging.
John, I can't tell you how much your blog is appreciated though not always ready to respond in writing. You have a certain depth and departure from the norm which I really love.
ReplyDeleteI linked to your blog from mine and now I think both my readers have left me for you. I want them back. I'm only commenting here to try and lure your readers to my blog. Sneaky isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI ditto Kari.
ReplyDeleteThe following will grow when it's supposed to. (I know that's bad writing, I had Mrs Knight too.) Even though I can't write, I appreciate the gift. Thanks for sharing your gift and wisdom.
Blase,
ReplyDeleteC'mon, man. Nobody really appreciates artists until they're dead. You're well read enough to know that. Just stick it out another 50 years here at the shame, and when you are in glory counting the things that matter, some twenty-something artist-professor will stumble across your blog and extol the genius that's here. Then you'll be famous.
And you'll shine like a star and such.
In all honesty, you know there are only 3 blogs I read: one because she rights about me from time to time, one because her imagery is Dillardesque (though she puts you to sleep), and this one because it reminds me of the best things that grow from raw land.
Keep the posts coming, friend.
I came here cause Google told me that you created a totally rad new cuss word.
ReplyDelete;-) ...kidding.
Great post anyway.
Authentic. I read through, ironically, a link through twitter. And I often feel the same way. But.... real life makes for real blog fodder and so we must live it first to write it. I will be back. I love the honesty, the authenticity. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm patting my knee with an invitation to let it all out. Seriously though, John, you will never know how much faith you inspire and how much food for thought you provide. If only one thinks so then your blog is of inestimable value. Even if I say so myself.
ReplyDeleteOh, and John, I can't ever have a big blog because I can't figure out when to use "rights" and "writes." It's sad.
ReplyDeleteMy mom, the English teacher, would ground me.
consider yourself linked. i have really enjoyed catching up with your blog.
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteEnjoying your "thoughts" and sharing your struggle.
Truly one of my very favorite blogs (like one of the very few I read regularly). But what do I know...
ReplyDeleteYeah, you just need to start to Twitter. I mean, I even found out about your blog on Twitter. You owe Twitter. (Seth Haines, husband to AmberRunsaMuck sent me here. Or, Mr Mother Letter)
ReplyDeleteAll joking aside, I love your writing, and this post was full of honesty and humor. Two of my favorite things.
Nice to meet you. Now I'm going to go link to you on Twitter. But don't let that keep you from spending time with your family.
if only you twittered ...
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure we should all take our site meters and our scales and anything else that measures our worth in numbers and smash them to pieces Office Space copier style.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog.
This pleasantly surprised me. I thought the cool ones didn't care about stuff like stats and such. The fact that you do doesn't make you seem less cool....just makes me feel a little less uncool.
ReplyDelete