It takes a long time...

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doens't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby." - The Velveteen Rabbit

"You must go on growing in me and I will grow in you...When a woman gives birth to a child, she certainly knows pain when her time comes. Yet as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers her agony for joy that a man has been born into the world. Now you are going through pain, but I shall see you again and your hearts will thrill with joy - the joy that no one can take away from you - and on that day you will not ask me any questions." - Jesus
John 15 and 16 (Phillips)

Becoming Real takes a long time. I read an advertisement in our paper yesterday for a new church start up. A sermon series was being promoted and this was the tagline: Find your life's purpose in 30 days. 30 days? Wow. Now I'm sure that the series was four Sundays worth of scripture and reflections on focusing in on purpose and passion and other "p" words. But the way we frame thoughts like this...30 days? It speaks to our resistance to "a long time."

Boast and Swagger Christianity (BaSC) is wound up. Now there's a statement. It's diametrically opposed to "bit by bit." And I believe this one is subtle.

I was driving home last night from a gathering of friends. I feel at odds with someone who was there and I sat quietly through the entire time, not offering anything; basically, shut down. There is some anger there, but as we know, anger just means you've been hurt. As I drove home, it was amazing how the voices of "John, you should really be past this kind of thinking/behavior by now...I mean, come on, you've been doing this Jesus-thing for thirty-something years...you really should..." I hate that voice.

Allow me to be the poster child for "it takes a long time." BasC is, many times, a reaction to SHAME. That old shame pops us and says, "By now, you really should be..." You know what? I'm becoming. A work in progress. An old chunk of coal that's gonna be a diamond someday. All that stuff that country music has figured out quite well. I think it was Kierkegaard who said, "And now, by the grace of God, I will become what I am." Soren would have made a heck of a country singer. BaSC believes we've got it all figured out and we should be able to get it right and when the apostle Paul says, "I have not arrived," BaSC just smiles and keeps reading.

This Jesus-stuff is going to take a long time. Letting him love me, letting people around me love me, realizing that pain and hurt is a part of this path...that takes a while. Like waiting on a baby. Rilke said, "Gestation...everything is gestation." And Jesus, in John 15/16, says the same thing and equates the end result with the word JOY. Put Jesus and the Skin Horse together and you have JOY being defined as having your hair loved off, droopy eyes, loose joints, and an overall shabbiness to your life.

Bit by bit Christianity in a world full of express check out lines, no wait emergency rooms, instant messaging, lightning fast DSL, drive through dinner in a box...and finding your life's purpose in 30 days. "It doesn't often happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept." Following Jesus takes a courage this world knows nothing of...