Knowing Me

I look to my right hand and find no one who knows me...
Psalm 142.4

Of the blogs I read, every once in a while someone gets tagged with a meme that asks a list of questions that give the reader, in this case, me, a little more information about the person. They're always interesting.

My girlfriend (she asked this designation be returned to her, as "missus" is evidently not very sexy, and so I yield) wrote a post the other day answering 35 questions about herself, everything from do you own a gun? to what's your favorite type of salad dressing?

To answer 35 things about myself this early in the day would completely tax my personality. I've got work to do today, so let me make an attempt at 7. These are my own questions, so they're not really very sexy.

1. Do you ever cry when you're running? Yes. In fact, yesterday I ran by a fence line behind which were a group of cows and the resulting smell in the air took me back to my grandfather's farm and suddenly I was ten years old and climbing on old farm equipment with the abandon of childhood. As another runner passed me on the trail, I'm quite certain she saw my tears. I just pointed to the cows.

2. Do your wear the same pair of socks most every day? Yes. I have a pair of woolies that fit well with my boots and I wear them a couple of days and then wash them and wear them again. I could buy another pair but I don't need them. I feel it's very Wendell Berryish.

3. A rather embarrassing moment? Years ago, in my former life, I was preaching from the book of Jude the obscure and instead of saying fault finders, I said fart finders, crystal-clear, with perfect pastoral diction over the local, public airwaves, as we were televised at the time. The congregation gasped, several backsliders busted a gut, and one little girl on the second row asked rather loudly did he just say fart? Our hymn of invitation that morning was Pass Me Not.

4. What kind of car do you drive? A black '97 Dodge Stratus. Cracked windshield, check engine light is on, tires are of the may-pop brand, but it's paid for. I can't run the AC because it taxes the engine too much, but I live in Colorado, so it's cool.

5. An advertising slogan that drives you to drink? Christian radio that's safe for the whole family.

6. Favorite movie of all time? Monte Walsh. It's a little known western, hard to find actually, starring Lee Marvin and Jack Palance. John Barry did the score for it and Mama Cass sings the opening song The Good Times are Comin'. It's about the end of the cowboy, among other things.

7. Is your Beagle obedient? Hell no. I stood on the back steps in my fundawear last night saying Jack, come in, for almost five minutes while the bugger just stood there and looked at me with his head cocked a little to the left. Finally, in my frustration, and the fact that the neighboring houselights were starting to come on, I grabbed the box of Milkbones and threw some of the floor. Jack immediately came in and I said good boy.

I'm sure you're all saying Wow, thanks John. Quite vulnerable. Yeah, it's fun to share; good times.


  1. well, I have tears after reading this but mainly b/c my sleepy morning eyes are laughing so hard!!! Your girlfriend inspired a very fun read to get my day going here in the deep south!

  2. So...what's your favorite salad dressing?

    Me thinks you were born a few generations too late. our home, it's wonderwear. :)