The Restless Heart

God: Good morning.
Me: Hi.
God: I saw your Facebook status – restless.
Me: You follow Facebook?  C’mon.
God: It interests me to read what people write.  I wish they’d update me that often…that’s praying, sorta.
Me: But you already know everything we’re going to say, right?
God: Sorta.  Sometimes your theologians have me playing offense and defense, plus being in the pressbox; it’s really not a good analogy.  You’ll just have to trust me.
Me: I’m trying.
God: But restless?
Me: Yes.  Meredith asked me last night for a word to describe 2009 – maybe that’s it.  Restless. 
God: Well (pause)…I saw the kids put Nacho Libre in your stocking (pause)…funny movie…(begins to softly sing) “I am, I am/a real religious man.”  (pause) Hmm, o.k…I’m beginning to see.
Me: (smiles)… yeah, “a little taste of the glory.”
God: You’ve always been restless.  People think all is calm, but all is not.
Me: You sound like you know me.
God: John, when I did that knitting together in your mother’s womb? – I knit in restless.  And that was that.
Me: Thanks a lot.
God: You’re pretty good with letters, words, phrases.  When you see your word – restless – what do you see?
Me: Well, you know I’ve never been fond of double ss’s, so I tend to edit them out immediately…and although I hear the “r” at the beginning, I see the silent/shy “w” wanting to join the party.
God: Good.  And?  C’mon, “summon your eagle powers.” 
Me: …I see wrestle.
God: “Beneath the clothes we find a man…and beneath the man, we find his…nucleus.”
Me: Me?  A luchador?  My lord.
God:  Yes, I am.  And yes, you are.  Enjoy the gift of this day. 
Me: You won’t ever leave me, right?
God: “No, Chanco, I would never leave you.  I just need to borrow some sweats.”
Me: (begins to softly sing) “I am, I am/a real religious man.”


  1. God: "John, you should dress up as Nacho Libre for your author profile pic on your next book."
    John: You read my mind...

  2. God: Say, whaddaya think about that Ruman guy...seems to me like he's a good man.
    John: You read my mind.

  3. I like Nacho Libre.

    I like this post (and its author) even better.

  4. And here I thought School of Rock was his best.

  5. I got the same movie for Christmas! I walk around the house saying, "stretchy pants," alot.