The Dirty Shame is a little saloon up near the Canadian border. I learned about it via the writer Rick Bass. Most nights, the Shame hosts games of chance; games that don't involve any particular skill or savvy, but essentially let the dice roll. It is in that spirit that I write here. I roll the dice.
Your responses/questions have used words like "universalism" and "emergent/emerging" and even someone named "Doug Pagitt." For me to try and give clarity to those would be attempting to bring some skill or savvy to this; that's not what the Shame is. Furthermore, my nose tells me you're looking for an answer rather than clarity and those are two entirely different things. Your scant profile indicates you're a student, so I'd say be a student; wrestle with these things and come to an answer for yourself. Your ability to craftily use words like that and put webcasts in the heart of blog comments, something I still can't do, indicates you're above the bar in resourcefulness.
And while your gentleness stands in contrast to old mr. spurgeon, I wouldn't be too hard on him. We all have places in our lives that cause us to speak or act in those tones. In fact, when it comes to being self-righteous and arrogant, I'm afraid I've got him beat by a mile; that "chief of sinners" stuff you may have read of.
You asked about a book recommendation to help you in your quest to "fit in." I'd suggest The Work of Wolves by Kent Meyers. It speaks of a kind of universalism, that of becoming a man and stepping away from the views of others and standing in your own boots. It beautifully shows how resistant we are to emerging into something or someone new, but how necessary that is for life. It's not leaving your roots, but it's branching out in new ways to catch the sun. It doesn't have anyone named Doug Pagitt in it, but it does follow the life of Carson Fielding, a horse-whisperer of sorts, and the ways in which his preternatural gift is only fully realized in the presence of others. He realizes that it's not all about him, but in a way it is all about him. Risk. Gamble. Paradox. Image. Metaphor. The kind of book that sits on the shelf of the Dirty Shame.
I'm truly thankful you've found some of this enjoyable. I guess miracles still happen.