Man of Confidence

There are days when you rely on another's words; this is such a day. The poem is by James Kavanaugh:

How can I tell you that the man of smiles and confidence is frightened now, trembling from the core,
Uprooted and still pursued by childhood fears that refuse to go away?
I want the world to be my friend and all its people, even as the puppy that first licked and loved me
Like no one else ever has, and the friendly echo that lovingly answered, like no one else ever did.

I want you to know that I am not the man I seem, perhaps I never was, and cannot be.
I wake at night afraid, rise up in the morning, filled with some unassailable dread, wondering where I have gone.
Not daring to ask anyone to relieve me of my distress, lest they know that a man does not know what to do,
Or even how to live.

In the distance, I hear the joy of little children laughing, laughing, laughing, forever laughing,
And I wonder what has happened to me, and if ever I was truly a child.