I'm open; just don't ask me to text message anyone...

"Fully functioning people are organized, disciplined, and able to get what they want out of life. Organization is out of the question for me; there are too many things going on, and they change so quickly I cannot keep up. The very idea of discipline makes me feel guilty...And as for getting what I want out of life, what I want most is love, and love comes only as a gift. All I can 'do' is be willingly, actively open to receiving the gift."
-Gerald May

I so resemble the statement above. I started a new job a couple of weeks ago; I'm already behind. I'm trying my best to keep dates and meetings on a calendar, but I've already been late a few times. Several around me have those neat little palm organizers that buzz when a meeting is five minutes out or play a nifty ring-tune when they have an incoming call; I've got post-it notes on my car's dashboard and notes "penned" on my hand. Charlie Brown in a land of Lucys. But what I want most out of this life is love and I agree with Dr. May - "love comes only as a gift." So, I'm just trying to be "willingly, actively open."

And you know what? I feel staying "willingly, actively open" may be more difficult than being on time for meetings. It may very well be more challenging than inputting your information into a palm organizer. And the chances are very good that opening yourself to the love you need is infinitely harder than sending out an e-mail message to a group of people while taking a conference call and stirring a latte. All those things go far in the land of efficiency; I'm just not sure they take you very far into the land of love. Don't get me wrong - I'm trying to be more efficient and even figured out my voice mail the other day; but I don't want to bend the knee entirely to that god. And not bowing to that idol puts you on a particular path - the path of pain. Charlie Brown experiences it every time Lucy pulls that football away at the last second and he screams, "AAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!" But he comes back, every time, and tries it again. Ole' Chuck stays "willingly, actively open" because what he wants most out of life is love. And that's what we love about Charlie Brown. And Gerald May. And Jesus. With arms wide open, as the boys from Creed sing. That's a vulnerable position; but it's the only position that allows you to receive something. Guarding your heart can quickly turn into hiding your heart; a very efficient stance, but one that's shut off from love. I pray on each of you (all three people who read this blog) that your holy-days are "willingly, actively open." There are gifts to be given and received this season. But you gotta have your heart open.